Widow's Journal

Although the four chapters in the book of Ruth never directly says so, I’ve always thought that Naomi must’ve had a deep impact on her daughters-in-law throughout her stay in Moab. The girls may have known her as Elimelech’s wife, but they truly got to know her as a mother-in-law. It is also possible they had seen a Godly influence in the lives of their husbands, Mahlon and Chilion. They may have seen her grief as she lost Elimelech but garnered the strength to continue the path alone. And then as the girls themselves became widows, in their own grieving, they had seen Naomi’s compounded grief as she lost her only sons. It was a sorrow that had made her feel the empty bitterness of life. She would later say that the Lord had opposed or humiliated her and that God Himself had afflicted her. (1:21) Yes, lamenting is hard grief. We want answers! We feel certain God could have done something sooner! Yes, we may rant and ask why, but as we sort through the questions we’re asking God, we know He’s there. He knows the steps we must take to get through this deep water, and He never leaves us. It takes time and trust to work through this kind of grief. And it takes strength, God’s strength.

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As a new widow, we are so crushed under the weight of loss. For me, I felt weak. Every part of me felt drained, and I literally ached everywhere. The gut-punch of loss hit me, and even breathing had to be intentional. I thought of the children’s song, Jesus Loves Me, “I am weak, but He is strong.” Getting comfort from a children’s song might seem unusual, but why else do we teach these choruses to children? Of course! So they will remember! And I needed to remember where my strength was going to come from. It was a small step, but it was pointing me in the right direction, to Jesus.
God’s Word has a lot to say about strength. The Psalms are packed with reminders of God’s strength and the powerful metaphors of Him being our refuge, our fortress, and our shield. The prophets Isaiah and Nehemiah referenced God as the source of strength. The apostle Paul chimes in with his encouragement of the churches to find their strength in all circumstances in one place: in the Lord.

In fact, it is promising to read of Paul’s situation when the Lord told him “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power (strength) is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Cor.12:9 ESV) Widows know all too well that losing their “other half” means twice as much to do, to think about, and to be responsible for, and often fewer funds, as well. We sorely feel the loss of our “sounding board”, the one who helped us process life, listened to our ideas, gave us loving feedback, and held our secrets! We can feel vulnerable without that connection to our life mate, and that can make us feel weak. Yet, through God’s grace, we can ask for that strength only He can give. He knows our hurt, our lack of strength, and God comes through every time, in His Sovereign plan, and in the way only He can design. When we admit our weakness, open our hands to receive what He has, He delivers the strength, His perfect strength into our hands.

The account of Abraham’s call has always intrigued me regarding how he was strengthened in his journey. He went without knowing where he was going. (Hebrews 11:8) That’s incredible faith! (Me going to a new location? I’m consulting Google Maps!) And again, Romans 4:20 tells us, “No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong (strength!) in his faith as he gave glory to God.” He didn’t hesitate to step out on the promises of God, but instead he got strength by giving glory to Him! This widow journey has been a bit similar. With my husband’s passing, I suddenly realized I’d never walked this path before! What would life be like now? But as I began to consider all that God had done for me in the past, and His promises were still as true as before Dan had passed, if He had been good then, He is still good. I could trust Him going forward. I could safely follow where the Lord was leading without knowing details of all that lay ahead because my time is in His hand. It always had been. And it will be. His sovereign plan would know the strength I’d need for the journey ahead.

In Nehemiah 8:10 I read, “Do not grieve, because the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah was in a unique situation. Being a king’s servant, he’d been able to respond to a critical need for help back in his homeland where a remnant of Jews was trying to rebuild Jerusalem amid setbacks and opposition. Nehemiah traveled the thousand miles to get a firsthand view. Yes, the city wall was under construction, but as it neared the halfway point to completion, the enemy increased the intimidation and harassment. The people wanted to quit, throw in the towel, and give up. The enemy had infiltrated the city with rumors and lies to discourage them. So, Nehemiah prays, “But now, my God, strengthen my hands.” (Neh. 6:10) So, they set to work. Within 52 days, the wall was completed, and the enemies were the ones intimidated now! They realized this task was accomplished by God! When Ezra the scribe stood on the platform to read the law of God to the people of the returned remnant, they began to weep and grieve as the implications of what was read and explained began to dawn on them. They had to be reminded not to grieve the past. The joy of the Lord, the deep knowing that God was for them as faithful protector, provider, and sustainer, would be their strength. They were to celebrate these new blessings of coming back to the land their fathers had lost because of disobedience. It was a chance to start anew, a rededication. So many details of this story make sense in the widow’s life. The Enemy of our souls wants to intimidate and harass us in our grief, to launch attacks at our attempts to rebuild a life in our pain of loss. Yes, getting halfway through is usually a point of hearing his lies: You can’t do this, Your life is over, This is impossible, You might as well give up now. But Nehemiah prays, “My God, remember Tobiah and Sanballat for what they have done, and also the prophetess Noadiah and the other prophets who wanted to intimidate me.” (Neh. 6:14) And God thwarted all their attempts. So, when the Enemy comes whispering his lies, let’s remember to give them to the Lord and remember, the joy of the Lord is where strength to rebuild our lives comes from. He alone knows the plans He has for our new purpose and service for Him. Rebuilding in Him brings the strength we would not otherwise have.

Now where was that lid-gripper?! I knew I had one in my drawer that held all things kitchen gadgets! That pickle jar was not opening itself! In days gone by, I would have simply walked into the next room, or wherever Dan was, and handed it to him. I can no longer do that as Dan’s in Heaven and I am here on earth dealing with how much I miss his strength, his problem solving, and every other detail of our 42 plus years as husband and wife! And then the verse comes into my head, “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” (Phil.4:13) I know, I know. Paul didn’t write this for widows with stubborn pickle jar lids, but the verse that precedes that is what gives me hope in my lack-of-strength moments. Paul is writing from prison and in dire circumstances. He’s seen a full life: needs met, in need; having much, having little; well fed, hungry. “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself…In any and all circumstances, I have learned the secret of being content…” (Phil. 4:11-12) His secret? He’s able to do all things (in all circumstances) through the strength that Jesus Christ gives him. Yes, I find myself somedays being not so content. I want the old days, the comfortable days, days when I didn’t have to think so deeply about each step or how to maneuver new situations. But I am learning Paul’s secret. I can take each circumstance to Jesus Christ, place it before the throne of grace, presenting it to the only One Who can give the strength, the hope, and the graciousness to walk forward. And if it happens to be a difficult jar lid, He inspires me with strategies to improve my grip on this life of a widow.

A widow often feels the loneliness of her solo-ness. As friendships and relationships often change, we may wonder who will still be there for us. The transition of going from “us” to “me” is one that can knock the pegs from under us. Joshua might have felt a bit uncertain as Moses’ death was a reality before him as was the Jordan River. Moses refocuses Joshua’s sight on the Lord: He would lead them, He would take care of the nations ahead of them, they only had to obey. But then Moses gives the directive, “Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For the Lord your God is the one who will go with you; He will not leave you or abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 CSB) And similarly Naomi had prepared herself for a solo return to Judah, but God had other plans. He provides companionship for her journey back with Ruth who is determined to stay with Naomi, to accompany her no matter what lies ahead.

Yes, God is the widow’s defender and He alone knows our future and the strength we will need for each day and each season. As Ruth and Naomi settle in for the harvest season, we see the hope that is before them.

Next: A Portion of Hope